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Ode to Chipper Jones and Jamal Mayers

March 17, 2009 | By TSM | comment on this post
Fuck you, and your little dog, too.

“We stayed in Toronto for a week and played three games. I don’t know if you ever stayed in Toronto, but it’s not exactly Las Vegas. To say that we were plucking our eyebrows out one at a time would be an understatement.”

And fuck you too, Chipper. Here is hoping for some reason he has to come back. Please let him come back. Funny how other athletes come here and don’t seem to complain. Not enough hot spots for ya, Chipper, like there are in Atlanta? Downtown Atlanta is a real thriller. Perhaps he prefers the risk of getting shot in Buckhead as opposed to the Toronto club district. Here’s hoping Bobby Cox gets to him and talks some sense into him before he opens his trap again. Somewhere I bet J.P. is laughing or cheering Jones on.

Meanwhile, get a load of the video of the Grabovsky/Blake affair. What the hell is Jamal Mayers doing? Who does this clown think he is? He shows more toughness in this clip then he has in every Maple Leaf game this season. Please let the Mayers trial end soon. Brian, waive him today if at all possible.


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11 Responses to “Ode to Chipper Jones and Jamal Mayers”

  1. Kevin Orris says:

    As a Chipper Jones fan and fellow American, I don’t find offense in this comment- having never been to Toronto I can’t make that judgment myself. Maybe if you would have treated him to a nice dinner then things would be different!

  2. TSM says:

    Hey Kevin, thanks for the comment. Curious where are you from? I mean, if someone dumped on your home town I think you could see it being offensive. Unless of course you are from somewhere really offensive too. Curious how one who has never been somewhere themselves can editorialize on whether something is offensive or not. If for example you were from Burlington Vermont, and a player dumped on it having spent some time there, I don’t think I could comment on whether his comment is justified or offensive if I had never been to Burlington Vermont. I’m just saying…..


  3. […] 4. Chipper Jones, 3B, Atlanta Braves: What? Chipper couldn’t delay his career-best .364 season by one year? Now, he’s going to have go out and do it again, only this time try to prove he can play even 140 games, but the fact that he’s already hurting this spring does not bode well for a healthier season. But bear in mind that at the age of 36 (and he’ll be 37 next month), Jones is probably playing for his last big contract, so let’s see if that incentive allows him to stay in the lineup more than he has in recent years. Will Atlanta pony up to bring back one of the greatest players ever to wear a Brave uni? Well, this much is sure: don’t expect Toronto to get in on the bidding. […]

  4. masivatack says:

    Sounds like you have a little unchecked agression with this Chipper deal. I am a braves fan, and I like Chipper. But guess what?

    Chipper probably has a different idea of a good time compared to someone from Toronto. I doubt you guys have a Hooters that would rival any from his home state of Florida. The fact that he uses Las Vegas as an example of a place where he WOULD have fun should throw up a red flag or two. So give us a break from your pity party : ( and get over the fact that Chipper didn’t have fun in Toronto.

    And even though I have no issues or opinions concerning your city, and I am sure I would enjoy visiting, I would rather get shot in Atlanta than live in Toronto.

    But hey, that’s just my opinion. And I’m going to guess that you prolly haven’t been to Atlanta for any amount of time, because of your downtown/buckhead references, because the only people who go to buckhead now are douchebags and tourists. And downtown is fun but gangsta, so I doubt you have really hung out there either.

  5. TSM says:

    Interesting choice of words Masivatack. Actually have had the pleasure to be in Atlanta on numerous occasions. I gotta say I am really impressed with someone who rates their town based on the quality of the Hooters. Have you considered traveling the world and rating each hooters? You and the “gangstas” could make a killing (pun intended!)

  6. RotoRob says:

    Actually, I am personally a huge Braves’ fan and a big-time Chipper fan going way back. I even have a Chipper jersey. But a veteran player like that should know better than to say something that stupid about any city, Buffalo notwithstanding. From a 22-year-old rookie, I expect that; from a 36-year-old veteran?

    We do have a Hooters, but personally, I don’t go around different cities comparing Hooters. I’d rather eat at a real restaurant as opposed to overpaying for a substandard hamburger just because it’s being served by some hottie is wearing a shirt that barely contains her breasts. Hell, if I wanted that, I’d just go to the strip bar. As for his home state of Florida, where they eat dinner at 4 p.m., well, I’ve been there many a time, and outside of Miami, there is no night life. And he grew up a hell of a long way from Miami. In fact, people tend to be too scared to leave their homes after dark in most of Florida.

    As for you rather getting shot in Atlanta than living in Toronto, that works for me. I suspect you’ll get your wish sooner or later.

    I haven’t spent a lot of time in Atlanta; been there twice, and while I did like much about it, there was plenty of things (like any big city) that I found disturbing. And yes, I stayed downtown. Went for a walk my first day there, and within two blocks of the hotel I was staying at (which was among the best in the city, btw), I was scared shitless and I don’t scare easily — especially when it’s the middle of the day.

    If you think we were throwing ourselves a pity party, that’s fine. But I think the fact that Chipper couldn’t figure out how to have a good time in Toronto is more telling to his being a redneck more than anything else. And again, this is a Chipper fan speaking.

  7. masivatack says:


    Your overreaction and lack of understanding of my post underscore your hypersensitivity. I for one, have NEVER been in a hooters, I was just using it as an “Example” of a place that Chip’ would probably enjoy, aside from his much publicized (in Atlanta anyway) romance with some Hooters girl that ended in a multi-million dollar alimony payout.

    And about Florida, I certainly do not recommend living there to anyone, ever. I actually had the “pleasure” of living very close Chip’s hometown (or at least where he played high school ball), Jacksonville, FL. WOW, that was an interesting experience. I though we had some rednecks in North Georgia, but whoa! It looked like we left all of our hillbillys out in the sun for a few decades, gave them all wal-mart jerseys, jean shorts, mullets, oakley blades and rope chains, and dropped them off to wander aimlessly through the streets of Jax.

    Yeah, and you should have called ahead and asked an Atlanta local where to hang out. As you probably noticed, not a lot of locals like to “hang out” downtown, you really have to know the city to enjoy it properly, due to to some questionable neighborhoods and the city’s spread-out geography. But it is certainly the energy and diversity of our town that gives Atlanta it’s rough edges, but that is also what makes it interesting. You can keep your “utopia”, I’ll keep my “soul”. So if you want to diss ATL after Chipper disses your town, then you are just criticizing him for the same crap coming out of your mouth. And I do mean crap.

    So thanks again for illustrating your inferiority complex/hypersensitivity disorder even further by responding so punctually and fervently, while simultaneously completely misunderstanding what I was getting at.


    “But I think the fact that Chipper couldn’t figure out how to have a good time in Toronto is more telling to his being a redneck more than anything else. And again, this is a Chipper fan speaking.”


    AHA! I am glad you finally got my point – even though you never realized it.



    Excellent retort, dude, you really got me good. And intending puns really doesn’t work for you. Keep working on it though, maybe one day. 😉

  8. RotoRob says:

    Well, actually I DID mention that there were several things I liked about Atlanta. I found the best fondue restaurant I’ve ever been to there. Fantastic night. And I loved Turner Field, too. Toronto could sure learn a thing or two about creating a ballpark experience from that stadium.

    But I’m still happy where I am, and shockingly I don’t have an inferiority complex (although given that Toronto had to build the world’s tallest phallic symbol to be considered “world class,” it’s totally understandable why most people think we do). If anything, I have a superiority complex about living in Toronto. And if you ask any other Canadians, they will be more than happy to tell you all about how most Torontonians think they are the centre (notice the spelling) of the universe.

    So, to summarize, you enjoy your soul, and I will be happy in my Utopia. And I will still root for the Braves! BTW, I’ve got Chipper on my fantasy team. Go Chipper! 🙂


  9. masivatack says:

    So, to summarize, you enjoy your soul


    Awww, thanks, yur sweeet for letting me keep it.


    THIS JUST IN – He was just scratched from his start today, I think he must have read your post and didn’t want to be seen in public, or maybe he wanted to doom your fantasy team. 🙂 😉 🙂

  10. RotoRob says:

    Well, you may not know that I actually do have the power to strip you of your soul, so you should thank me. But don’t worry; I’m in a rather benevolent mood. 🙂

    Hey, Chipper’s been on my fantasy team for years (it’s a keeper league). Hell, he even helped me win a title a few years back.