Prepare Thyself: Week 14
So the NFL debuted 3D football broadcasts Thursday. In four U.S. cities, the Charger-Raider game was broadcast into movie theaters in three dimensions. Now, I’m not exactly a business genius, a fact borne out by my bank account. Still, I’m pretty sure 3D football isn’t exactly the next big thing in the NFL money-making machine. First of all, this isn’t a new endeavour in general. A quick Wikipedia search shows that 3D film is very old. Paying audiences watched the first 3D film in 1922. Now, I will come out and say, sure, I enjoyed watching the last Harry Potter movie in 3D. I mean, I felt a little dumb wearing the stupid glasses, but what the hell, flying imaginary monsters look sort of cool in 3D. But NFL games don’t have imaginary flying monsters, mainly because Al Davis can’t quite get off the ground.
But how is this practical? NFL fans like watching multiple games at once. Fantasy freaks like us need to know exactly how many yards our starters have at any given moment. I guess I could just, you know, take the glasses off to check the stats. But, the thing is, I’m very lazy, and I suspect many of my peers are as well. What the NFL should be working on is some kind of personalized TV service that let’s you pick out your fantasy players and watch them whenever they are on the field. Wait. What? The NFL Ticket already does that? Well, shoot. All my good ideas get taken.
Just a couple sneaky starts today because, let’s face it, it’s the playoffs. You pretty much know what to do at this point.
Kevin Smith – Detroit Lions (vs. Vikings): You know what is a really good fantasy development? When your running back gets to face a team that just lost its entire defensive line. That’s awesome. Okay, I guess there’s some legal wrangling over whether the Williams’ are going to be able to play, but the writing is on the wall. The Vikings are in deep doo-doo and Smith should be able to benefit. Before last week’s Turkey Day debacle, Smith had three straight games with at least 85 rushing yards. A touchdown might be asking for just a little too much this week, but if you could use 100 total yards, Smith should be considered.
Torry Holt – St. Louis Rams (@ Cardinals): Okay, this is not for the feint-hearted. Holt has had three (maybe three and a half) decent fantasy games all season. But he did get eight looks last week, which is a nice little uptick for him. Marc Bulger is back at the helm, which is more good news. Steven Jackson will take pressure off the intermediate passing game and the Rams have done a good job at connecting on some longer pass plays. All of that should allow Holt to post some respectable games as the season closes out. He scored a touchdown against the Cardinals earlier this season and Arizona ranks dead last in passing scores allowed. All in all, it might be a worthy gamble to start Holt this weekend.
Enjoy the fantasy playoffs. And remember, don’t wear sweat pants to a night club and then put your gun haphazardly into your sweat pants then leave the safety off and then accidentally trigger the weapon while it is aimed at your lower extremities. Even if it takes multiple post-it notes, that’s a good reminder to leave on your front door.